What Ron Swanson Taught Me About Sexual Purity (Part 2)

***This is part 2 of my 3-part series on Parks and Rec! If you haven't read part 1 of this series, head over to the homepage and check out the Recent Posts column!***

Part 2: The Truth Will Set You Free

The next morning, Ron comes into the office with a new-found swagger and bravado. Sauntering into the office in a red shirt and black pants (an outfit that another character on the show describes as what Tiger Woods wears when he feels “invincible”), Ron begins handing out free money and complimenting the office laughingstock, Jerry. His sex-driven and toxic relationship with Tammy has given him a false sense of confidence in what he believes makes him a real man.

I’ve often heard it said that the underlying issue with a person’s struggle with lust is a need to feel in control and respected. Sexual temptation occurs when a person is offered a counterfeit solution to those needs by telling them they deserve to have their desires gratified instantaneously, even if it’s at the expense of another person. After years of believing this lie, many people begin to rely on sexual encounters to affirm their value and importance in the sight of other people. This is one of the many things that drive people to pornography, and it’s exactly what drives Ron into Tammy’s arms.

Ron’s false affirmation in his masculinity gives him confidence, but it also serves to blind him to the extent of his bondage to his unhealthy relationship with Tammy. Tammy uses this bondage to get Ron to compromise on his convictions, and convince him to give Lot 48 to the Library department. When Leslie confronts Ron about his relationship and his changing ideals, Ron tries to convince her (and himself) that Tammy has changed and that he’s doing the right thing. But when Leslie tells him to “look me in the eyes and tell me she’s changed”, Ron can’t do it. After realizing how deeply deceived he is, Ron becomes an emotional wreck. He calls himself “little” and “weak”, and is so discouraged he even starts to cry.

There are three common responses to falling into compromising sin, each one leading to the next. The first is to cover up any guilt or shame felt with religious acts of kindness or generosity. When confronted with the sinful reality of what they’ve done, many people resort to shallow acts of kindness to tune out the moral dissonance occurring in their hearts. They exchange a word of encouragement or a monetary gift for a fleeting sense of assurance that what they did wasn’t too bad and that it doesn’t make them a bad person. For Ron, this manifested in uncharacteristically giving out money and paying Jerry a compliment, but this approach is fundamentally flawed. If your identity is contingent upon your ability to be a “good person”, you will live in a constant state of performance. You’ll become self-righteous when you feel like you’ve succeeded, condemned when you feel like you’ve failed, and will expect those around you to live up to that same impossible standard.

The second response is to rationalize what’s been done and to cope with lingering sin. Temptation has the strange ability to make sense in a moment of weakness, and sometimes it can even succeed at deceiving us into thinking that sin isn’t wrong at all. People use excuses like “I’m not hurting anyone” and “If it feels good, do it” to deceive themselves into believing that what they’re doing is okay. Doing this for long enough will sear your conscience and cause you to compromise in other areas of your life as well. Ron allowed his relationship with Tammy to change his convictions about libraries and jeopardize his relationships with his friends in the Parks and Rec department. The truth is that sin is never an isolated event affecting only the person who’s fallen. Secret, unrepented sin will eventually come to light and won’t stop growing until it has destroyed you and those you love.

The final response to falling into compromising sin is to deny the existence of any kind of bondage entirely. While all of these responses are rooted in deception, this one is the most sinister. You can’t address an issue if you refuse to believe that you have one. Ron needed Leslie to snap him out of the brainwashed state he was in. He actually started believing that Tammy’s manipulative involvement in his life was healthy for his well-being! It was only when Leslie challenged Ron on his changing convictions and revealed Tammy’s deception that he finally accepted that he was in bondage. You can’t fight this deception alone; you will always need someone to reveal the truth.

But be careful not to respond to this truth the way Ron did. When Ron’s eyes were opened to his bondage he immediately went into full-blown condemnation mode. He started internalizing his shame and guilt and speaking demeaning words over himself. While it’s important to realize the gravity of sin’s affect in our lives, condemnation will only keep us trapped under its crushing weight. Finding true freedom begins with accepting your true identity in Christ. Ron needed the help and grace of a friend in order to start the process of freedom, and so do you.

***Part 3 of this series will be published on Tuesday, September 24th. Subscribe today to get it sent straight to your email!

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